How do you keep pushing forward when you encounter challenges? More pointedly, how do you push forward with a strong outlook and positive attitude when you encounter challenges?
This question plagues me often because even though I am not currently faced with horrible challenges–like homelessness or the death of a loved one–I do have challenging moments to face every single day. I would venture to guess that we all do.
Sometimes, I’ve compared my life to someone else when trying to buck myself up. I’ll think, “Gosh, at least I don’t have a husband who cheated on me like so and so.” Or, “Well, I am grateful that I actually like my in-laws, unlike so and so.” The comparison might also come in a slightly different way, such to make myself feel guilty for getting frustrated at anything in my life. For example, I know a woman whose ten-year-old son has suffered from seizures most of his life. When I think of her, I berate myself for getting frustrated when my little ones aren’t sleeping well (like when my daughter was up last night from 3:30 to 5:30) or when it seems like their tantrums are becoming more frequent. I’ll think, “My kids are healthy and don’t suffer from seizures. How can I complain about not having time to myself or getting up in the middle of the night?”
Honestly, I think we all play the comparison game from time to time. It’s a natural human tendency but it’s one I think we would all do well to fight against.
Ultimately, we all have struggles. We don’t need to feel guilty if we aren’t suffering from a hardship that someone else is going through; and on the flip side, we shouldn’t feel jealous if we are presented with challenges that our best friend doesn’t experience.
It is in the challenges and hardships that our true characters are tested and we are left to either shrink or grow. When we choose growth, we are choosing to strengthen our characters.
Putting effort into developing a strong mindset is one of the best ways we can prepare ourselves for challenges. I have experienced the power of this in my own life. But when the rubber meets the road, and when the mantras and meditation and therapy don’t work–when none of it makes us feel any better–the next step is to just put one foot in front of the other and determine to simply make it through. It doesn’t have to be pretty or pleasant.
Some nights in the early months with my daughter waking up over and over and me getting only a few hours of sleep, I would cry. Sometimes I would feel angry. And I think that is okay to let ourselves admit the negative emotions we are feeling. Sometimes that is part of what it takes to get through a difficult moment. What is important is to keep moving forward despite the struggle.
Remember, neither the rain nor the sunshine lasts forever.
