Who are your mentors?
I have always been a shy, reserved individual and the biggest roadblock to me finding good mentors over the years has been my own reluctance to seek out relationships with those I believed could mentor me. This is a problem of my own making and I see that more clearly than ever now, but as I’ve been thinking about this topic of mentors it makes me realize two things:
- I can change my behavior and reach out to find mentors now.
- Even though I might not have had “traditional” mentors (i.e., a person at work I had lunch with who gives me advice and guidance regarding work and life), I have had numerous people in my life over the years who have been wonderful influences and mentors. I just didn’t see their contribution to my growth at the time.
I am going to imagine that most of you have at least a few people you know who you could envision being of some help to you, who could mentor you. If you do, I encourage you to reach out to them and ask to take them to lunch and pick their brain for advice and insight. We grow by surrounding ourselves with successful people, those who are farther along in the journey than we are.
It is not just in the work place that we can find great mentors though. If you don’t have someone in mind with whom you can begin a mentor relationship, I would encourage you to look at your circle of friends and family for a start. Think about someone in your circle who has an awesome talent or trait you admire. Granted, this might not be a mentor relationship in the typical sense, but I believe we can also grow by learning from the strengths of those closest to us, often more than we realize.
For example, my youngest sister is amazing when it comes to organization. She is that person who has a specific place for everything in her home. When you go into her pantry, she has her noodle boxes stacked perfectly and her sauces lined up in a row like little soldiers. She also has two babies under two, and while the house definitely has more toys and baby paraphernalia now, she still manages to keep things organized at a level that amazes me.
She is someone I could go to if I needed help organizing my home and life. Organizational skills are an important and sometimes underrated expertise, but without them every aspect of life can be more chaotic and stressful.
Or take my mom. She has spent years studying nutrition, homeopathy, and healthy living. She is a vegan and has led numerous cooking classes through her church over the years. She walks a few miles every day and knows the names of countless plants and herbs, many of which she uses as natural remedies and in her cooking. She is in her mid-sixties and says that she feels more vibrant in many ways now than she did in her thirties, thanks to her healthy lifestyle.
My mom is someone I could go to if I desire to learn more about healthy cooking and living. We often take our health for granted but when we aren’t healthy, it has a profound affect on our physical, mental, and emotional state. Understanding how the body works and how we can keep it in optimal shape is incredibly important.
It is funny how we have people in our lives that have a wealth of knowledge or skill that we don’t have and yet we often don’t take advantage of it. We don’t reach out and say, “Teach me,” or “Can I get your advice?”
Reaching out to an expert in your industry or a leader in your own company will never be a waste of time. (Even if they say they can’t meet with you, the very act of you reaching out to them will give you more courage to try again with someone else.)
But don’t overlook the wealth of resources that might be even closer to home.
You don’t always have to go to a financial expert to get help making a budget and sticking to a financial plan (although I am not in any way discouraging this—going to an expert can be very beneficial, especially if you have more complex financial concerns). Perhaps your best friend is great with money and loves to track her spending and has an Excel spreadsheet for her own budget. Talk to her and see if she can help you create one for yourself. Ask how she deals with financial hiccups and if she has any good books to recommend on budgeting.
You don’t have to take your manager out to lunch to learn about all that her position entails and how you can work your way up to that position yourself. Again, of course this would be beneficial in many ways, but it isn’t the only way you can improve your job skills or learn how to become a manager. Perhaps one of your coworkers or a friend at your church used to be in a management position that is similar to the one you are seeking and you can take them out to lunch. Or you can check out books from your local library on business management and leadership.
If you have the opportunity to have a mentor, definitely go for it. And certainly don’t just wait around for a mentor to come to you—that will rarely ever happen. You have to seek out and pursue the growth you desire in as many avenues as possible. But if you don’t have the opportunity for a traditional mentorship at this moment in time, look around you and consider the people in your life that you admire the most. Reach out to them and ask if you can pick their brain about their area of expertise. Growth happens when you have a curious mind and are eager to learn from the strengths of others.
