Sibling Rivalry – A Great Motivator
In all honesty, this blog was prompted in part by sibling rivalry. Yes, that can be a great motivator. After all, who wants to be upstaged by their young sister?
My younger sister has been thinking about starting a blog for a few months. I have been thinking about starting a blog for years. But you know how it goes with people. They want to do something new. They talk about doing something new. They might even make plans or write a resolution to start something new. But for most of us, it is so hard to follow through on these promises to ourselves. Time is a precious resource and there never seem to be enough hours in the day. Inspiration—or lack of inspiration—can impede the process. Lack of focus also contributes to our inability to start something new. I think that is probably half the battle for all those wanting to blog but hesitating to start—they lack focus and don’t know exactly what they want to say. They are afraid they will run out of things to say after a few entries, or, once they do find a topic of interest to them, nobody else will be interested. I know I’ve let all of these of excuses stop me.
No More Excuses
But I don’t want excuses to stop me anymore. I love to write. I have wanted to start a blog for years. From the time I was thirteen years old I knew I wanted to be a writer. But somehow, somewhere along the way, life happened and a writing career didn’t. And let’s face it, when I say that life happened, what I mean is that I was too afraid or too lazy or too unfocused (maybe a little of all) to make that life, a writing life, happen for me.
So when my sister told me that she was actually going to start a blog, that it had moved out of the “someday that would be cool to do” phase and into the “my goal is to have a domain name by the end of the week” phase, something came alive in me and I knew it was time to put my own long-held desire into action.
Sometimes we need someone or something to kick us in the pants and push us out of our comfort zone. My younger sister’s decision to take action has served as an inspiration for me to refocus my desires and take action as well. I think we need to be aware of the times we are pushed outside of our comfort zone and see the opportunities present in those moments.
Now, I am thirty-five years old. I have a lot of good things in my life and plenty of reasons to be grateful. I live in a place I like. I have a roof over my head and food on my table. My husband and I have a good relationship. I just had a baby boy in January (our first). I am close to my parents and three sisters.
And yet… I still feel like something is missing. I have felt this for years. It is this nagging sense in the back of my mind that I could have more, do more, be more. Most of all, I feel as if I am not living up to my full potential—and never have. It seems like a lot of people feel this way but it is hard to know what steps to take to live up to your full potential. We all have different dreams and goals so our journeys will all be unique, but if we have the right tools, we will have the ability to remain focused on our goals rather than feel like we are drifting in the wind.
As I mentioned, even from the time I was thirteen years old, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to become a writer. I distinctly remember being outside one day and just watching the clouds float by overhead. Being a dramatic kid, I remember closing my eyes and letting the warm breeze tease my hair while I pictured the life I intended to have as an adult. I saw multiple best-seller books and book tours and lectures in my future—I saw the life of a writer for myself.
For most of my teenage years, I wrote like crazy. When I got to college I still wrote sometimes, but I was so wrapped up in my boyfriend that I mostly wrote gooey, romantic poems. After he and I broke up, I stopped writing.
While that breakup might have been a catalyst, the truth is that as I got older I became more insecure about my writing. As I became more insecure, I became less inclined to write because everything I wrote sounded like crap to me. Rather than push through the crap, rather than clean up the messy sentences and shine the paragraphs until they gleamed, I decided that maybe I wasn’t meant to be a writer after all.
My writing ambitions sat dormant for a long time. And then a big event happened in my life recently that really made me re-evaluate what I want for my life and how I can fulfill my full potential. Most of us probably have experiences or events that shake us up and cause us to reassess our goals and desires. Mine came in the form of a 7 pound 13 ounce baby boy.
Game Changer
My baby boy is incredible on every level to me, but having him definitely jolted me into a new reality. The first two months were overwhelming as I slogged through diaper changes, constant spit up, sleep deprivation, and breastfeeding issues. The third month seemed to start out better as I got into a bit of a routine and could sometimes even brush my teeth and change out of my oversized baggy sweatpants (which my husband would like to burn) before the baby woke up. But then I hit a wall—hard—and I began experiencing depression, fatigue, and a strong sense of anxiety and inadequacy.
It was because of this wall that I began to do something I haven’t done consistently for quite some time—I began listening to audio books and inspirational or educational videos featuring people like Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Simon Sinek, Mel Robbins, and others. In desperation, I began devouring as many audio books and videos as I could in spare moments because it helped me feel sane. Everywhere I looked was evidence that other mothers were doing a better job than me. I felt overwhelmed and then I felt ashamed for feeling so overwhelmed. I would listen to videos as I prepared breakfast and my son sat impatiently squirming in his bouncer. I would listen to audio books as I took him on walks in the morning. I would listen as I worked out during his naps and when I was preparing dinner.
Slowly, I began to realize that even though being a mom is a full time job, I still needed to find ways to connect with myself and challenge myself in meaningful ways. I started to give myself room to feel a wide range of emotions and trust that it didn’t make me a bad person or a terrible mom. This whole chapter of life was new to me—still is new to me—and it is okay to still be finding my way. It was rather unrealistic to expect that I would have it all figured out in a matter of weeks. When I started shifting my mindset about the whole situation, I found that I was much happier. I was also better able to face difficult moments when they arose.
In addition to listening to audio books, I began carving out time to read books again, something I didn’t think I would have time to do once I had a baby. One of the books that has had a big impact on me is The Slight Edge, which talks about how imperative it is to do little things every day to move toward your goals—and how that can make all the difference between a mundane life and a great one.
In all honesty, it is sometimes disheartening that I am still not living up to my full potential at this stage in my life. The very fact that I am reassessing my goals makes it obvious that I don’t have a clear vision for my life at the moment. But then I think about my book on self-acquaintance and I am reminded that part of life is exploration. And perhaps it is in the questioning that I will find answers. It is through curiosity that we gain new insights. Those who just plod along in life not asking questions will never discover new ideas or create new visions.
This life was not meant to be just dull and decent. This life was meant to be great. Each one of us are on a journey and even if we aren’t where we want to be at this moment, I believe we can each find greatness in our lives. We can all create greatness in our lives.
This blog is meant to inspire intentional living. It is meant to explore purpose. It is intended to help us all find and fulfill our full potential. So let’s get started on this journey to great—together!
