I was talking to my sister over the weekend when I noticed something that I have a tendency to do too often. I talk too much. When I start talking on subjects I like (and I have many), I can cover a lot of ground quickly–and then often circle back and go over it again. We were talking about money and I was energetically talking when I realized that I had taken over the conversation and hadn’t given my sister a chance to say anything for a little while.
We all struggle with different issues and concerns but it can sometimes be hard to even know where our weaknesses lie. For years, I don’t think I realized that my love of talking could cost something. Unfortunately, it cost me the opportunity to listen to people, and it cost me the chance to make others feel heard in a welcoming and empathetic space.
I always thought I was both empathetic and a good listener, but my desire to talk about my own interests or issues often outweighed those traits and I didn’t even realize it. Even if you think you have special gifts or skills in a certain area, it is a good idea to check in with yourself on occasion to see if other things are overshadowing those gifts.
Sometimes, I have to step back and make a real-time course corrections, which is what I did when talking to my sister this weekend. After finishing my thought, I was intentional about asking her some questions regarding the topic at hand, and then I made a specific effort to listen and respond to her thoughts. It felt better to feel like it was a dialogue and exchange of ideas rather than a monologue.
Like everything else I talk about here, it is a work in progress. Self awareness is a part of this equation though, and if we aren’t intentional about understanding ourselves, it will be harder to improve ourselves.
