Yesterday I was listening to a podcast that was discussing resilience and one thing the host said was that she was grateful for the hardships she had experienced as a child because it helped her develop toughness. While it is hard for any of us to welcome difficult situations, we will all be faced with them. Over and over again I am struck by the realization that it is how we view and respond to a situation that will determine whether or not we can grow from it.
I was blessed to have a wonderful home life growing up. I didn’t experience instability or abuse or a negative environment. For that, I am eternally grateful to my incredible parents, and I strive to offer my own children the same stable, loving, positive environment I experienced.
At the same time, I don’t want to shield them from every misfortune and hardship that comes their way. I want them to grow into strong individuals who know how to work through difficult situations and deal with difficult people.
Despite the wonderful home life I had, I didn’t develop a huge amount of resilience in my early years. It is still something I am working to develop now, and I think that is, in part, because I didn’t understand how to find the chance for growth in pain and fear and difficulty. Whether it was dealing with a painful breakup, career setbacks, lack of money, personal disappointments, or any other host of issues I’ve faced (and I’m sure we have all faced at one time or another), time and again, I missed the opportunity to scrutinize these periods with a critical eye and learn from them.
Unfortunately, it took until my thirties to begin to really grasp this concept, but I say better late than never. While the best time to start something was five, eight, ten years ago, as the saying goes, the next best time is today.
So the next time you are faced with a disappointment or difficulty, I encourage you to step back from it and allow yourself to search for the growth opportunities. It is absolutely not easy, but it is critical to growth. And like I said, something that helped me was to realize the simple fact that hardships will come to all of us regardless of whether or not we are prepared. I want to practice resilience so I can be better prepared to face those hard times when they come.
