First of all, I would like to report that my daughter slept through the night. Yay! This has only ever happened about three other times since she has been born so it was a treat for me.
I must admit, waking up multiple times a night for months on end with both my son and daughter has been a hard task for me. While I recognize that it is completely normal for babies to do this (although I know three women close to me who had easy babies that were sleeping through the night by four months of age–can I hate them just a little for this?), I have struggled to keep a good attitude about it. Since my son was born in January 2020, I have only slept through the night a handful of times, because by the time he was sleeping through the night, my daughter was almost here and the process started all over again.
About a week ago, I woke up to my daughter crying. It was around 2am and was already the third time I was up with her that night. And I’ll admit it–I cried too. As I sat there and fed her, I cried because I was so exhausted. I cried because I was frustrated. I cried because I felt like a failure. I cried because I felt shame at my own anger.
And then I listened to a podcast where Jocko was interviewing Jonathan Kim (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yujP3-AxXsI). If you haven’t listened to a Jocko podcast, I would encourage you to do so. He was exactly my age–37–and he has been a Navy SEAL, a medical doctor, and now an astronaut. (It definitely makes me question my life choices but that’s a different blog post.) The story is so inspiring and incredible. Kim went through abuse and trauma as a child, then went on to do extraordinary things and his perspective and philosophy on life and purpose is amazing.
This is why I believe focusing on positive, inspiring stories is so important–they have the ability to lift us up and encourage us to aim higher in our own lives. I hold on to these stories in those moments of frustration and weakness to remind myself that I can push through the hard moments. Comparison can be a dangerous game, but I think it can be good to remind myself that life can and does throw people much greater challenges than waking up with a baby multiple times a night–and when those greater challenges come, I want to be able to face them with courage and strength. If I can’t meet the small challenges with strength, how can I face the big ones?
Growth is about a process and we all start from a different place. But when you are feeling low and overwhelmed, I would encourage you to find inspiring stories and inspiring moments from your own life to help push you through. This has helped me immensely.
