My baby only naps in half hour increments most of the time. I have tried a lot of tactics and read a lot of information on how to increase his naptime but nothing has worked as well as I’d like. Sometimes he will take a good hour and a half nap, but most of the time his naps are short. I usually have just enough time to get in a short workout or wash a few dishes or write a few lines. I was three lines into this paragraph when he woke up this morning.
This is why time management is so important for me. It feels critical that I learn how to become more efficient with my time or I will never keep up with this blog.
I struggled with time management long before having my baby. But I find it interesting that we can be so disciplined in certain areas of our lives and not in others. For example, in college I never turned in a paper late; in fact, I never once pulled an all-nighter to complete an assignment on time. My assignments and papers were usually done days in advance of the deadline. I liked being in school. I liked the structure and I enjoyed looking over each syllabus to plan out how I was going to get through each course.
That is why it was baffling to me that I struggled so much with time management after I finished college.
Over the years I have come to realize that becoming an effective manger of your time means knowing what is important to you, but also understanding what scares you. You have to figure out what compels you (pushes you forward) and what terrifies you (holds you back). You have to recognize the purpose behind your choices and the implications behind the ones you veer away from.
You also have to learn how you operate best and then set in place habits that optimize your natural best ways of operating. For example, some people might like to read first thing in the morning while others might like to exercise first and still others might like to write in a gratitude journal or meditate. You need to learn what works best for you.
When I was in college, I was compelled to turn my papers in on time for a few reasons: I genuinely enjoyed the subject matter I chose as my major (English) and was generally energized by school; I was scared of my dad’s wrath if I didn’t perform well (he didn’t expect perfect grades but he did expect good grades obtained through persistence and hard work); I was fearful of disappointing people and appearing lazy. The first reason I listed definitely was the strongest reason, which is worth noting because I think it is always better to be pushed by positive reasons rather than negative ones (and quite honestly, if I hadn’t genuinely enjoyed my classes, I don’t know if the second and third reasons would have been strong enough to ensure my success in school).
The point is to step back and begin to understand the purpose behind our choices. If we can parse out what is most important to us, we will begin to give those priorities more of our time, and thus become more effective with our time.
We all have the same 24 hours in a day but if we are not mindful, those hours will fritter away faster than we can catch them and we will be left feeling frustrated and empty.
Instead of rushing through each day without a plan, which ends up leaving me frazzled and drained and unproductive, I have started making conscience choices about what I will do with my time based on my priorities.
For example, below are a few of my biggest priorities:
- It is a priority that I spend a chunk of time each day with my son where I am fully present and engaged. To accomplish this priority, for at period of time each day, I put my phone away and don’t engage in other activities, like doing the dishes, working on my blog, or vacuuming the floor.
- It is a priority that I get in at least 20 minutes of exercise each day. To accomplish this priority, I do this by either exercising during one of my son’s naps, taking a walk with him, or, on really busy days, getting in my lunges and squats (etc.) while I chase him around the house.
- It is a priority that I perform an activity every day that contributes to the success of my blog. To accomplish this priority, I generally sit down at the kitchen table as soon as my son is down for his first nap and I will write or edit a post, research blogging tips, take a course on web design, or something along these lines, even if the particular action takes just ten minutes.
- It is a priority that I spend a little time working on my own personal development each day. To accomplish this priority, when I am doing the dishes I often listen to educational podcasts or audio books. When my son goes to bed for the night, I also spend a little time reading blogs on personal development, money, and parenting.
Some of these priorities felt unrealistic to me just months ago. Even though they all sound reasonable, I often felt like I just didn’t have the time, but when I began to think about time management in terms of living out my priorities, my perspective on time shifted.
I also now make it a practice to write a kind of Master List for the week on Saturday or Sunday where I put down all the things I want to get done for the entire week. These are activities that need to get done beyond my top priorities. Then each night I look over the list and try to prioritize what I will do that next day. I don’t try to get everything done in a day but I do prioritize at least three things on the list that MUST happen. This not only helps me actually get things done but it also gives me a sense of accomplishment.
Keeping the list of top priorities small each day helps me feel the wins and drives me to want to keep going. If I have ten top priorities every day and only accomplish four, I will feel like a failure. But if I have only three top priorities for the day and I accomplish all four, I will feel like a success. We need to set ourselves up to feel successful because it helps us want to reach for more.
In summary, time management is a developed skill but it is one that we will never fully master until we figure out what our biggest priorities are and then build our lives—and use our time—around them.
